Malicious Traitor chaos
by Anna Skywalker
Summary: [Xenosaga] chaos is actually a malicious traitor. He is plotting to kill the others. Only KOS-MOS suspects his evil intentions. Will be continued with some R&R, and I don't mean "rest and relaxation" Chapter 2 up!
1. A Devious Scheme

Malicious Traitor Chaos

Warnings: None.

A/n: This is a parody/humor fic. Obviously, you must allow for some exaggerated characterization. I don't hate chaos and I don't really think he's a traitor roll eyes I'm not insulting him.... just his corny (English) dialogue and the fact that no one is ever more than mildly suspicious of him even if they have every reason to be.

A/n: I also do not know where this would fit in. Put it anywhere in the time line you like; it doesn't matter where.

A/n: CHAOS' NAME IS CAPITALIZED. I didn't know it was supposed to be lower case until after I wrote it, the find/replace thingy won't replace capitalization mistakes, and it looks awkward for his name to be lower case when it's at the beginning of a sentence. In the future I'll try to leave it lower case.

Get over it and don't flame me about it.

* * *

Chaos knelt by the car he and the rest of the gang shared, putting the finishing touches on the tracking device. He sniggered under his breath. Finally, this would be the end of those pathetic losers.

The door to the garage suddenly slid open. KOS-MOS, Shion, Jr., MOMO, and Ziggy walked in. Chaos leapt to his feet, standing in front of the tracking device on the back of the car to hide it.

"Oh, hello guys," Chaos greeted in his hopelessly irritating, elf-like voice.

"Hi, Chaos!" Shion replied. "Watcha doin'?"

"Erm...with the car? I'm, ah, fixing a dent," he said with an obviously fake smile.

"A dent?" Jr. asked, shocked. "My car has a dent?! Let me see it!"

"NO!" Chaos shouted, angry.

Everyone stared at him. Chaos cleared his throat, and spoke again in a calmer voice.

"It's.... all taken care of..." he said. "No need to worry!"

KOS-MOS narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Chaos, but said nothing. Chaos' smile became rather fixed_. "Damn. KOS-MOS must be on to me. I guess she didn't buy that line about her being beautiful when she was sleeping," _he thought.

"Let's go eat some cake," Chaos suggested in that same cheerful tone. He shooed the others back through the door.

"But we don't have any cake," MOMO protested.

Chaos gritted his teeth. "Then let's make some."

"Oh. Okay!" MOMO said cheerfully, skipping through the door. The rest of them followed, except for KOS-MOS.

She turned back at the doorway to stare Chaos with her crimson eyes. "I can not locate a dent in the car."

"I know! He did a really good job fixing it, didn't he KOS-MOS?" Shion piped from behind KOS-MOS.

KOS-MOS fixed Chaos with another stare, and then followed the others back into the house they were temporarily using as a base of operations.

Chaos sighed in relief. Lucky for him, everyone except KOS-MOS was totally oblivious to his scheming.

Five Hours Later

Our favorite gang entered the door of their base wearily. Everyone slumped down on the nearest piece of furniture, dog-tired, except for KOS-MOS, who stood against one wall, staring at Chaos again.

"How did those U-TIC organization A.G.W.S units ever find us when we were just on our way to the mall?" Ziggy wondered aloud.

Shion shrugged. "Beats me."

KOS-MOS spoke up. "My theory is that someone planted a tracking device on our vehicle," she said, staring pointedly at Chaos.

Jr. sat up from his spread-eagled position on the couch. "That would explain a lot."

"But who would have planted a tracking device on the car?" MOMO asked. "Isn't the garage always locked up?"

"Right," said Ziggy. "We're the only ones who can get in or out, and there were no signs of a break-in."

Jr. frowned. "But that would mean it would've had to have been one of us!"

They stared at each other uneasily. Chaos did his best to look innocent, but KOS-MOS wouldn't quit staring at him.

"Well," Shion spoke up, "where was everyone before we left for the mall?"

"I was polishing my arm," Ziggy said.

"MOMO and I were playing checkers," Jr. supplied.

"I was in sleep mode," KOS-MOS said.

"And I was making lunch in the kitchen," Shion said, puzzled.

She looked at Chaos. "What about you, Chaos?"

Chaos gave her another fake smile. "I was playing ping-pong."

Jr. looked at him curiously. "By yourself?"

Chaos froze for a minute, realizing his folly. But his cleverness and quick tongue soon got him out of it.

"Jr.," he said, admonishingly shaking his head, "there are those who draw well, and those who run fast. And there are those.... there are those who can play ping-pong with only themselves, and the wall."

Everyone stared at Chaos in wonderment.

"Wow, Chaos, you sure are a cool person," Shion said admiringly. The others offered their agreement.

Chaos smiled yet another fake smile. "Well, now that that's finished, I think I'll go see if some of that cake is left."

He turned to leave, but KOS-MOS stood directly in his way.

"You were the last one to enter the garage before the incident."

Chaos' frustration almost boiled over, but he kept his calm and forced a smile on his face.

"What's that, KOS-MOS?" He asked.

"I believe you said you were fixing a dent."

Chaos' smile twitched at the corners.

"Heeey.... that's right! Chaos, did you put a tracking device on our car?" MOMO asked in her childishly innocent way.

Jr., Shion, and Ziggy were now all standing beside KOS-MOS, watching him with suspicious eyes.

_"Damn, time for some complicated philosophy jargon."_

"No, no you have it all wrong. Your memories are incorrect," he said with a bland smile.

They all stared at him even more suspiciously. Chaos smiled inwardly.

"You guys just got mixed up, that's all. Memories - in other words, events that occurred in the past - become stronger, more selective, and gain a higher priority when they resonate with others that share identical axes in time and space. That memory of me being in the garage isn't real. It just got mixed up in the time-space continuum and was afflicted with other wavelengths that resonate on the same level."

"Ohhh, I get it," everyone (except KOS-MOS) said in unison, even though they had no idea what he was talking about.

Chaos smiled.

"Ping-pong, anyone?"

To Be Continued......maybe.

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So, my first Xenosaga fic, and it's a humor parody type fic, which is mostly all I write. Like it? Hate it for reasons other than I explained at the top? Leave feedback, and I shall continue! 


	2. Kindness Binds Us All!

**Malicious Traitor chaos (2)**

A/n: Wow, thanks so much for the reviews...they made me feel loved

A/n: Err....Not sure on some of the weapon terminology...please forgive...

chaos allowed a devilish smile play across his face as he finished disabling Shion's A.W.G.S. unit. He had already "taken care of" everyone's weapons and Jr.'s A.W.G.S. unit.

He chuckled. _"This'll get 'em for sure,"_ he thought. Although they had since discovered the tracking device on the car and removed it, it was only a matter of time before they ran into some enemy and discovered their weapons were all disabled.

chaos had just jumped down from Shion's A.W.G.S unit when the garage door opened and KOS-MOS walked in. She glared at him with those intimidating red eyes of hers. chaos put on his most charming smile and waved to her.

"Hello, KOS-MOS!"

KOS-MOS said nothing, and continued staring.

"Is something wrong?" chaos asked innocently.

"What are you doing with Shion's A.W.G.S. unit?" KOS-MOS asked finally.

chaos had to strain to keep from exploding in anger. "Why, nothing, KOS-MOS. I was just in here playing ping-pong, all by myself," he said, gesturing to the ping-pong table in the corner of the garage.

"By yourself."

"Haven't we been over that?"

The garage door slid open again and Shion walked in. "Oh, KOS-MOS! I was wondering where you went. I need some help preparing lunch today."

She noticed chaos. "Oh, hi chaos."

chaos smiled another of his fake smiles. "Hello, Shion."

KOS-MOS showed no sign of moving, and Shion beckoned at her. "Come on, KOS-MOS, the others are all busy."

Reluctantly, KOS-MOS left with Shion, leaving chaos alone in the garage once more.

Jr. met Shion as she walked back inside. "I just got a call from Gaignun. The Kukai Foundation is under attack by Gnosis! We have to leave right away and help them!"

Shion nodded. "Of course. Let's go."

A few hours later

Our favorite group of oblivious heroes returned to their base feeling exhilarated and cheerful, except, of course, for chaos, who looked sullen and irritated. They had managed to defeat the Gnosis attacking the Foundation and had found some creative new ways of doing it...

"I had no idea you could use judo in an A.W.G.S. unit," Jr. said, smiling at Shion.

Shion grinned back at him. "You didn't do so bad yourself. Using that tree as a club was simply brilliant."

"And who knew MOMO was a karate expert?" Jr. said, turning to MOMO, who blushed. chaos rolled his eyes.

Shion glanced at KOS-MOS, who was standing beside her. "And you fought well when your weapon malfunctioned, KOS-MOS."

KOS-MOS glared at chaos. "I believe someone tampered with our weapons. The same person who put the tracking device on our car."

"But we never found that person, and again, it would have to be one of us," Ziggy stated.

They all looked uneasily at one another, and chaos mimicked their suspicious expressions.

Finally, it was left to KOS-MOS to point out the obvious once again. "chaos offered to enhance everyone's weapons, did he not?"

All eyes were on chaos. He put on another smile and tried to look as innocent as possible.

"Of course I did. My enhancements had nothing to do with the malfunctions you all experienced."

Ziggy looked suspiciously at chaos. "My armblade got jammed. That has never happened before."

MOMO spoke up. "And all the circuits in my wand were all disabled!"

"My guns were all out of ammo, and the extra bullets were all defective!" Jr. said, glaring at chaos.

"My MWS was malfunctioning as well," Shion said, looking curiously at chaos.

chaos started to back up under the force of his "friends'" glares. He put his hands up in a gesture of peace.

"C'mon guys...we're all friends here..." he continued backing up.

"Kindness...at times...it binds us!" chaos shouted randomly, squeezing his eyes shut.

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks.

chaos opened one eye to find them all staring at him with openly amazed and touched expressions.

"chaos...that's so...._touching_," Shion said quietly.

"It couldn't be him. Anyone who could say something so sweet couldn't be a malicious traitor," MOMO said.

"But if it's not him, then who is doing these things to us?" Jr. wondered.

chaos shook his head, feigning resignation. "There's no way for us to know. However, we're still here, and none of us have turned into Gnosis. Perhaps we can take solace in that."

Shion nodded, smiling. "You're absolutely right, chaos! You always know how to look on the bright side."

chaos gave her yet another of his false smiles. He noticed KOS-MOS giving him a death glare worthy of Heero Yuy out of the corner of his eye. He ignored her.

_"Next time....next time I'll get them for sure!"_

To Be Continued (maybe)

So, please tell me what you thought of this chapter! I kinda thought it was too similar to the first chapter, and frankly, I'm starting to run out of ideas. If I get a good idea that's different from the first two chapters, I'll definitely continue. Thanks for your kind reviews, they mean a lot to me.


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